if you want to kill someone stab them with an icicle because the icicle will melt and then there will be no murder weapon
when i was in 5th grade a boy liked me but i thought he was annoying, so on the playground he tried to ask me to be his girlfriend and i said no and i had to think of an excuse so i started hugging a tree and i told him the tree was my boyfriend, then later i saw him kicking the tree and i felt kinda bad
do you ever keep tabs open thinking “eh i’ll get to that later” and then five weeks pass and you still haven’t fucking done anything with it
its three am. do you know where your notes are?
If you’ve got ginger pubes don’t shave them into a landing strip, it’ll look like a fish finger.